Master K DJ Ken

Master K  DJ Ken
Awesome DJ Ken that I admire...

Thursday, November 4, 2010

GRANDMA, MY ANGEL


Grandma fell from bed 2 times beginning of this year, and was admitted to the hospital due to some water clogs and required immediate surgery to extract the water from her head. After that, she was hospitalised for a few weeks, and we took turns to stay with her in the hospital, as she said that she was scared to be alone.

She started to talk things like she saw some people (that we can't see), she saw smoke (that we can't see too), she talking to herself, calling out names (some names are her old friends who no longer exist :D), keep on mumbling to herself, talk non-stop at night to herself and forced whoever who sleeps with her to talk to her.... kind of scary to most of us, but I wasn't scared at all. To me, it's grandma, and I'm sure she wasn't aware of what she was talking.

Her body size shrinked from a normal person to a skinny bony person now. Basically she has not much of meat left and she looked so small, just like a kid. In 6 months time, she transformed from a normal person who talks and eat like normal to someone who no longer walk, bed-ridden, she talks and we can't hear... and few weeks back she's being tube fed through her nose.


I started to stay with grandma since my parents were divorced, when I was 12 years old. Grandma was a great person, she took care of us, like princesses! We are allowed to sleep until 2pm, she won't nag. We can go out to wherever we wanted to, just have to inform her, and she won't stop us. When we wakes up, she'd already cooked fried rice or tapau wantan-mee for us to eat, all on the kitchen's table. After breakfast, she also bought some siew-pao and egg tarts as desserts for us (that's how we all can't slim down til now :D)

I had a lot of friends who came over to our house and she will cook for them and will talk to them happily. I know some of my close friends who knows her, will remember that she cooked very delicious food and how friendly she was. I still remember that she washed my school white shoes until I was Form 5. There was one time, I tried to wash the shoes myself, and she told me, "Next time I'll wash for you, I'm afraid you didn't wash it clean" hahaha, I felt lucky! Who likes to wash dirty shoes? Only Grandma who loves us did that... what a wonderful person on earth!

We shifted away and no longer stay together when I was 21 years old, she stayed with aunty and another cousin brother. However, we were very close to each other, and few years back, when I came back to stay with mom, I went to the morning market with grandma every morning after I brought kids to kindergarten. I'll hold her softs puffy hand and walk to the morning market. All stall sellers will recognise us, and whenever I go to the market alone, they will ask where is grandma. We will buy vege, breakfast, fish or meat, fruits, soya bean, chu-cheong-fun, whatever we feel like eating! After market walk, I'll go home to change to get to go to work and my mom will escort grandma home.

Once in 2 weeks, I'll cut her finger/toenails (sometimes my sister will do so). Once in a while, we'll bring her out. As I do not have a car, she enjoyed very less outing. Sometimes my aunties and uncle will take turns to visit her and bring her out. All these are just memories...

Do you know how difficult to accept how she looks like now?


I no longer can hold her hands as her hands were both freezed and not moving at all, if I ever want to cut her fingernails, she will feel pain as her vein and bones were crooked.


I no longer can tell her my stories at work or my friends, because she no longer remember and she no longer has the energy to pay attention.

She seldom open her eyes to look at us and smile like last time.

I no longer have a chance to share the same cup of soya bean with her...


I no longer have a chance to tell her my secret (she really can keep secret)


I no longer dare to cut her finger/toenails like lastime, afraid that she felt the pain...

I no longer had a chance to taste her cooking, yong-tau-foo, sweet & sour pork and all others that she knew how to cook...

Life is not short, it's just unpredictable.


Love the ones that you love unconditionally, don't let go a single second by thinking of negative thoughts. The more we count our blessings, the more happy moments we'll enjoy.


God sent us here because we were sinners in Heaven, we have to go through thick and thin, happy and sad moments, seeing people come and go, having the sense to differentiate what's good and what's bad..

Dont' forget, when you give love, you'll receive love, more love that you gave away. God will love us continuously, and no doubt that God wants us to learn, how to love others and how to forgive + forget.


We always argue why we have to do so many things and no reward. Do we actually want a reward? Life is just a journey, of course if we pick some fruits and eat while enjoying this journey will be good, but if we have a chance to share the fruits with others, that would be better right?


In this new modern world, none of us feels ENOUGH or contented with what we have, there are too many temptations out there. Everyone is fighting for the biggest house, the most expensive car to drive, most countries traveled, branded bags to carry, finest food to eat, play office politics to climb higher, and even betray each other as family, and addicted to drugs, or gambling....


Just think, if everyone start to count their blessings... will us fight that much?


I learnt one thing from Grandma, she loves us unconditionally, and she never expect us to give back. She just hope to see us to be happy, and GRANDMA, WE WILL BE HAPPY :)

WE LOVE YOU GRANDMA :D