GRANDMA, MY ANGEL

Grandma fell from bed 2 times beginning of this year, and was admitted to the hospital due to some water clogs and required immediate surgery to extract the water from her head. After that, she was hospitalised for a few weeks, and we took turns to stay with her in the hospital, as she said that she was scared to be alone.

She started to talk things like she saw some people (that we can't see), she saw smoke (that we can't see too), she talking to herself, calling out names (some names are her old friends who no longer exist :D), keep on mumbling to herself, talk non-stop at night to herself and forced whoever who sleeps with her to talk to her.... kind of scary to most of us, but I wasn't scared at all. To me, it's grandma, and I'm sure she wasn't aware of what she was talking.

Her body size shrinked from a normal person to a skinny bony person now. Basically she has not much of meat left and she looked so small, just like a kid. In 6 months time, she transformed from a normal person who talks and eat like normal to someone who no longer walk, bed-ridden, she talks and we can't hear... and few weeks back she's being tube fed through her nose.

I started to stay with grandma since my parents were divorced, when I was 12 years old. Grandma was a great person, she took care of us, like princesses! We are allowed to sleep until 2pm, she won't nag. We can go out to wherever we wanted to, just have to inform her, and she won't stop us. When we wakes up, she'd already cooked fried rice or tapau wantan-mee for us to eat, all on the kitchen's table. After breakfast, she also bought some siew-pao and egg tarts as desserts for us (that's how we all can't slim down til now :D)

I had a lot of friends who came over to our house and she will cook for them and will talk to them happily. I know some of my close friends who knows her, will remember that she cooked very delicious food and how friendly she was. I still remember that she washed my school white shoes until I was Form 5. There was one time, I tried to wash the shoes myself, and she told me, "Next time I'll wash for you, I'm afraid you didn't wash it clean" hahaha, I felt lucky! Who likes to wash dirty shoes? Only Grandma who loves us did that... what a wonderful person on earth!

We shifted away and no longer stay together when I was 21 years old, she stayed with aunty and another cousin brother. However, we were very close to each other, and few years back, when I came back to stay with mom, I went to the morning market with grandma every morning after I brought kids to kindergarten. I'll hold her softs puffy hand and walk to the morning market. All stall sellers will recognise us, and whenever I go to the market alone, they will ask where is grandma. We will buy vege, breakfast, fish or meat, fruits, soya bean, chu-cheong-fun, whatever we feel like eating! After market walk, I'll go home to change to get to go to work and my mom will escort grandma home.

Once in 2 weeks, I'll cut her finger/toenails (sometimes my sister will do so). Once in a while, we'll bring her out. As I do not have a car, she enjoyed very less outing. Sometimes my aunties and uncle will take turns to visit her and bring her out. All these are just memories...

Do you know how difficult to accept how she looks like now?

I no longer can hold her hands as her hands were both freezed and not moving at all, if I ever want to cut her fingernails, she will feel pain as her vein and bones were crooked.

I no longer can tell her my stories at work or my friends, because she no longer remember and she no longer has the energy to pay attention.

She seldom open her eyes to look at us and smile like last time.

I no longer have a chance to share the same cup of soya bean with her...

I no longer have a chance to tell her my secret (she really can keep secret)

I no longer dare to cut her finger/toenails like lastime, afraid that she felt the pain...

I no longer had a chance to taste her cooking, yong-tau-foo, sweet & sour pork and all others that she knew how to cook...

Life is not short, it's just unpredictable.

Love the ones that you love unconditionally, don't let go a single second by thinking of negative thoughts. The more we count our blessings, the more happy moments we'll enjoy.

God sent us here because we were sinners in Heaven, we have to go through thick and thin, happy and sad moments, seeing people come and go, having the sense to differentiate what's good and what's bad..

Dont' forget, when you give love, you'll receive love, more love that you gave away. God will love us continuously, and no doubt that God wants us to learn, how to love others and how to forgive + forget.

We always argue why we have to do so many things and no reward. Do we actually want a reward? Life is just a journey, of course if we pick some fruits and eat while enjoying this journey will be good, but if we have a chance to share the fruits with others, that would be better right?

In this new modern world, none of us feels ENOUGH or contented with what we have, there are too many temptations out there. Everyone is fighting for the biggest house, the most expensive car to drive, most countries traveled, branded bags to carry, finest food to eat, play office politics to climb higher, and even betray each other as family, and addicted to drugs, or gambling....

Just think, if everyone start to count their blessings... will us fight that much?

I learnt one thing from Grandma, she loves us unconditionally, and she never expect us to give back. She just hope to see us to be happy, and GRANDMA, WE WILL BE HAPPY :)

WE LOVE YOU GRANDMA :D

WE COME & GO WITH EMPTINESS

It's a miracle everytime we see people around us having new members into their families.

We see babies here and there, along the journey, we see happiness, joy, love and care!

All babies come with nothing but a body, cute small little body and all babies cry! Hahaha, they cry for happiness, at last, they are here, with love from their new family in this world!

Children are adorable, as they grow, you'll see how they learn things, one new thing everyday, from drinking milk, to eat porridge, and very soon you'll see them eating the same portion of rice that you do! How beautiful this world is! It was the same that happened to us. When we were born, we cried, and we brought happiness to our family members. Most of us will go through the same level of life!

• from a small little baby without teeth
• from a small little toddler who learns ABC
• from a small little kid who tried to play swing at the playground
• struggling in school during exams
• being punished when homework is not done
• being kissed by family members when we were younger (and not many kiss us when we grow older hahaha)...
  
• learn how to buy food with the money our parents give to us
• participate in some talent contest organised by the school
• drawing a human that looks like a robot, colouring a chicken in blue colour... hahaha
• comparing who's school bag is more stylish
• keep on losing our erasers in the classroom
• learn to commute in public transport (I still remember Len Sen and Toong Fong bus :D)
• start to wear underwear... (oops!)
• learn how to read the time...
• select and compare our idol with others
• girls start to care about how they look like...
• guys start to play basketball...
• some have puppy love... some were just admiring each other...
• classes are the same old subject with the same old teacher...
• attending birthday parties of friends (how wonderful)
• love Chinese New Year - as we'll have income hahaha
• look forward to school holidays as we can sleep until 2pm!!
• always hang on the phone with our favourite friends...

and many many happy things that we can look forward to!











Baby - cry, being fed, smile, sleep

Toddler - walk, fall, read, eat eat eat

Kid - play, forget about time, play and play

Primary school - scared to see teacher with rotan...

Secondary school - time to peep on boys / girls hahaha

College - puppy love, monkey love and some make love (hahahaha)

In 20's - enjoy, clubs, work for fun, live young! - some got married and got stucked hahaha

In 30's - started to think, the objective of life (some started to think in their 20's so when they reached 30's they started to feel so old)

In 40's - settle down, work to pass time, and start to plan for retirement...

In 50's - some retired and wanted to enjoy life for another 20 years...

In 60's - it's no longer party time, from this point, just expect more funerals than birthday parties ... (no hard feelings)

In 70's - be glad if you are still around... because, at this age, the younger generation started to see if you're rich or worth to be around...

In short, we come with emptiness, means we come empty-handed... but we bring joy to our family. And as we grow older, we see more things, we make mistakes, many mistakes, and we move on. We get to forgive and forget... we love and we are loved. One day, we realise one thing about ourselves, we are just here temporarily and we are not alone.


God created us, with love & care... with joy & happiness... it's us to determine how we want our life to be. When we make mistakes, we learn, and we pray that we don't have to go through such mistake again... when we are at the lowest point of life, all we need is one or two family or friends to be with us, until we are UP again. Life is unpredictable, it's challenging.

Let's turn this emptiness into rainbows, let's make everyone smile today by START SMILING.

One day, when we leave this world, we'll just be smiling away, no regrets!

I treasure and love my family and friends, colleagues.... and appreciate all my close buddies for their attention and care. We might have a lot of acquaintances in our walk of life, but choose, good ones, so we can LIVE IN A BIG FAMILY!



Stop thinking that we need to out-shine others, sometimes, lay low is good too, and sometimes, we just need the moon-light to free our mind!

DO WE FIGHT TO LIVE OR LIVE TO FIGHT?

It looks like a confusing subject hahaha....

Do we fight to live? Oh yes, we have to do all sorts of things to make sure we move on. We also make sure that we have enough of $$$ to eat, buy things we need, ensure that we have shelter, and being able to pay bills!! That's why most of us are working.




Even housewives are workers. They work while their husbands work out there, bringing home income to support the family. Housewives work at home, making good meals, take care of children, and make a comfortable homes for the whole family. All of us, fight to live :D



What about the statement talking about, do we live to fight? ARRRGGGHHHH.... we see fights everywhere. Drug dealers fight with each other to get more business, food stalls' owners try their best to cook the best food so that more customer go to their stalls... students fight with each other to get better results, husband and wife fight with each other to make a decision, and best part that we'll never miss is the MOST SICKENING OFFICE POLITICS!!


In fact, in this new working world, everyone wants to climb higher, because they want more salary. Other than shoe-polishing, they must also have skills to gain a greater heights. It's normal for managers to 'fight' with other managers to gain more trust from the top-boss! And it's normal for a group of executives to perform to their best to win the hearts of their managers. It's also normal for a group of lower category staff, to fight with each other to do better, walk the extra mile in their daily work, hoping one day they'll be promoted.


This type of 'fight' is healthy, whereby everyone do their best, perform to their maximun and benefit the company in the long run. But some people tend to play games. The way they fight, is totally dangerous, they are selfish and never think of others!!



Simple ways to identify these type of "sell-fish" workers:-

• they smile in front of everyone and have plans behind;
• they offer their help in some tasks, just hoping to get credits;
• they pretend to be your friend, at the back, they back-stab you;
• they pretend to be caring, so that they get more information about you, and one day, the information will be 'sold' to others (and they gain more 'followers' because others who has lower EQ will think that they are informative)
• they select tasks that they like to do, and do very quickly;
• the tasks that they dislike, they will say, there is no instructions given... hahaha
• they have all sorts of excuses when they do something wrong, just try hard to push the responsibility away;
• they think they are the KING or QUEEN in the office;
• when they speak, they will speak as loud as they can, so that their voice is heard;
• best part, they forget, they are not the BOSS and good bosses don't speak LOUD;
• they will have a lot of papers on their desk, showing that they have a lot to follow-up;
• when you ask about a project, if they can't do it, they drag it - without informing you!
• when you discover that they tell lies, they have another set of lies to cover their intial lies, hahaha, geng!
• if you really care about them, they say you pretend (especially when you discover something bad about them, and they need to back-stab you);
• you can spend years to treat someone good, but, if one day, that particular person who plays politic, will only PICK ONE not-so-good-thing you did to him/her and POINT AT YOU AND SHOOOOT!

It's just purely life, and work is for us to gain $$$ to live on. Is it so crucial til we've to find a 'victim' to back-stab on? Also, is it so important to 'fight' and play politics? These politic players forget about one thing,






THEY NEED TO ANSWER TO GOD ONE DAY. Happy playing with fire and God is watching. Hahaha, cheers!

THE BACK-UP PLAN

Does everyone has a back-up plan?

What's your back-up plan if you car is 'sick'?

What's your back-up plan when your friend calls you and tell she is not coming to meet you and you are already in the mall?

What's your back-up plan when you don't get to eat at the restaurant that you always wanted to eat at?

For someone who just lost his/her job, what's the back-up plan? Some wanted to take a break and find a same new job in a different company. Some feels that it's time for a change...

Most back-up plans are unplanned... and some are planned :D

Not all people has a back-up plan as they are lazy to think of anything, they go with the flow.

Some gets panic and doesn't know what to do when something goes not-so-right!... common' cool down, everything has a solution... that's why God gives us 'problems' hahahaha with solutions :D

The best thing that God creating us is that, in human lives, we have relationships. Parents with children, brothers with sisters, friends with other friends, colleagues with colleagues, teachers and students, shopkeepers with customers, girls and boys, puppies with puppies... elephants with elephants... we are not alone :D Life is beautiful and you've got to know it!

Everyone wonders what is in store for us, to have, to feel and to conquer, but all we have to know is, life shouldn't be planned rigidly. We have to think for ourselves, people we loved and how we should make life more meaningful.

I do pray every night before I sleep, I'm very thankful for what life has brought to me, and every morning when I wake up, I will say thank you for the good night sleep and head for a wonderful day ahead. And I know, God is listening to us....

Everyone has something to say, and everyone has some agendas in mind, but does it actually matter? It matters only if we need a back-up plan for whatever we do...

Forget about the back-up plans once in a while and live happily.

I love you :*

LOVE TO MAKE OR MADE TO LOVE

It's weird that we always think about love. It's even weird when we think that love has to be between a girl and a guy... does it matter?

In many beliefs, we got to know, God created us, to fall in love (in a relationship) a girl + a guy = relationship. However, think again, does it matter when it come to evaluate your happiness and your trust in a relationship.




A son can betrayed his father, when he is in debts. A brother can betray his own other brother when it comes to family business. Friends can always betray another friend when they fight for promotion in the same Company. A girlfriend can betray her boyfriend when she finds a better one out there. Who the hell who care what is love all about?


Are we born with love or born to love?


Of course when a baby is born, he/she will be loved by his/her parents. Slowly, when he/she is growing, love will come into the picture where a baby will show by touching, hugging and kissing. No one can explain how or why it is happening. We are just born to be loved, and we love others too :D


"WE FALL IN LOVE, HEART BREAKS, AND WE ARE SCARED. BUT, IF SOMEDAY, SOMEONE GOOD APPEAR BUT WE STEPPED BACK, WE LOOK AGAIN AND WE FEEL AFRAID. WE ARE AFRAID THAT WHAT 'IF' WE FALL IN LOVE AGAIN AND OUR HEART BREAKS AGAIN. BUT SOMEHOW, SOMEDAY, SOMEONE WILL LOVE US, FOR WHO WE ARE, AND RESPECT WHO WE'VE BECOME."

I always tell myself, I don't want to fall in love again. There is a Chinese proverb that says, "Once saw ghosts, who doesn't scare of darkness". hahaha, sounds familiar ya! But love happens... My mom loves me, and I love her so much. I love my kids, and my kids love me. I always tell them, not only to love mommy, love popo as well. It's wonderful when we are surrounded with our loved ones everyday.




It doesn't really matter whether it's a love relationship or a friendship or a family-ship. It's love after all. We do care how it feels to be loved and we do want to share our love to others too!


I still remember one of my colleagues told me, "Candy, don't always think of how you can make your family happy first, think for yourself. Are you happy? Are you doing enough for yourself, to feel happy?" She was so right. Last time, I always wanted to find a 'father' for my children. That makes me limit my findings and felt that my family feelings were more important than anything else in the earth. She proved me wrong. She was right. She said, "If the guy loves you, eventually, he will love your family." And now, I know, she was so right and I moved on happily.


In fact, I told myself I needed someone to be with me, to feel my 'emptiness'. Loneliness is not as bad as emptiness. I don't think I was lonely, I was just empty. I wanted to go for a movie and I realised my friends watched those movies with their husband or boyfriends. I wanted to go for a dinner, and I realised that everyone else had a date. I wanted to go somewhere for a walk, and I realised that everyone was rushing home for some reasons. I do want to go home too, but I just want to break-away from office and home for a little while. Who do I turn to? Do it alone? Oh, I can't, I don't eat alone, I can't shop alone, I felt weird!!!!



I needed someone to go out with me, takes care of me, eat with me, hug me when I need a hug, laugh with me, talk to me, sms me and ask if I'm ok, or wish me good night. That would be lovely. In another words, I hope to be loved and I'll do the same to that 'someone' too!

In any relationship, we create our own rules to 'rule' it or make it happen. Some girls, they are in a group, they make deal, that they'll have a monthly gathering, regardless of what happened and they will be there for each other, for whatever reason.



In a love relationship, both parties will make a deal too. Husband and wife will make a deal to have travel together every year. They make a deal that they'll watch a movie in a month. They make it a point that family comes first during weekends. That's like a contract, but if it's healthy, why not?


Love is not difficult. You just have to spend a little time look out for it, and eventually, someone will just appear without you realising it. I prayed and always thankful for what I have and who I have with me. It's not easy to get something out of no where, but if you start to appreciate, you'll get it.




To be loved is a blessing, and to keep it sparkle, to keep it bright, do your part. Keep a good mood everyday, smile or laugh as much as you can, you'll feel love, and you'll know, there is no limit of how you should love, or whom you should pour your love to.



Do share your love, spread your love and you'll feel love.

Join me to believe that there is love out there, and just open your hands and grab it!






I LOVE U Dear :*

VSOPs...= VERY STRONG OLD PEOPLE

First thing that landed on our brain when we talk about old people = wrinkles, wisdom, worries hahaha :D

Most of us retire at the age of 55, and start to enjoy life from that point... we are just too busy with our lives when we are younger, struggling for career, family commitments, and also 'busy' with so many other things in this competitive world.

Old folks which is normally linked as a weaker group, 'naggers', bored life... and this article proved that we all all wrong! They can just be as good as us, and they have quality time to enjoy life...

Secret to good health and positive outlook in life:-

The Golden Rule - BE HAPPY
If you are not happy, what's the point having all the money in the world?
We have to be contented with what we have and who we are...
"When we age, we realised that a lot of things we are upset about when we were younger - were quite trivial. When you let go that, you'll be happier

STAY HEALTHY
You don't need tonnes of supplements to stay healthy
Eat healthily and exercise regularly
If you've any chronic disease like heart problems, diabetes, heed your doctor's advise and live a healthy lifestyle
You need to have the wisdom t choose what kind of food to take
Sleep well at night, at the right timing and wake up early to enjoy the new fresh day


HAPPINESS IS IN YOUR OWN HANDS
While a good family can make anyone happy, it's also important for any person to take responsibility for their own happiness
Happiness is in our own hands
We need to find our own friend and participate in activities we are interested in. That way, we can expand our horizons and live happier, longer lives!

BE BUBBLY
BE ENERGETIC
FORGET ABOUT PROBLEMS - there's always solutions
MEET NEW FRIENDS
GET YOUR INTEREST IN CHATTING WITH OTHERS
MAKE IT A POINT TO GATHER WITH FRIENDS or INTERESTS GROUPS
LISTEN TO PEOPLE'S STORIES
TALK ABOUT JOKES WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG

"RETIREMENT is an opportunity for everyone to pause their steps and smell the roses"

When you're young, your life just revolves around work. So, when you retire, you are old, and you can slow down your pace and treasure everything and everyone around you more.

This article is a great sharing to get us ready for a COOL RETIREMENT AND BE A VSOP!

Cheers!

IF NOT NOW, WHEN?

The Time Is NOW :D

We want something worthy so that when the time comes and our visa for life expires, we can all go happy! But so many people put off seeking that peace and happiness til "later", when they are done with their chase. And many leave it till it's entirely too late!



"WHEN SOMEONE SHOUTS AT YOU, WHEN SOMEONE SCOLDS YOU, WHEN SOMEONE IS RUDE TO YOU, WHEN SOMEONE HAS ABUSED YOU OR IS HURTING YOU, WHEN SOMEONE DOESN'T AGREE WITH YOU OR OPPOSE YOU... that's when you practise the "Dharma"... be patient :)

We always think, "I'll do something nice tomorrow. I'll put it off till tomorrow. It's too difficult. I'll d it when I'm ready."

But, "NO", we start right now!

"What matters is right now. How you re-act!"

Joy vs sadness
Harmony vs conflict
Commitment vs irresponsibility
Life vs death

In the Oxford Dictionary, PEACE = quiet, calm, harmonious relations, freedom from cessation of war, civil order.

"PEACE" is not about living in Paradise and Peace is not about clinging on to Attachments.


"ONE should not become too attracted to anything - and that includes not only material possessions but also family members"

"Right now, we may not be able to do anything about things happening on the outside, but we can do something about what is "within", here and around us."





"If we are going to pray for and benefit the world, we should start with the people we live with. We don't talk about world peace, we talk about the people we live with."


"Yes, your difficulties and your problems are genuine, they are real, but they will also pass."

Believing in yourself, don't complain, everyone has their own stories, just that, they handle it like how you are handling yours :D Not everyone is blessed with great health and great wealth, but think again, there are also not many people is blessed with 3 meals a day or clean water to drink, so you are just fortunate! Count your blessings :D

VALENTINES' BINGO....

Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays we either love or hate, it's how you think!! This year, it clashes with 1st day of Chinese New Year, so I think those who are single won't feel so stressed up! hahaha!

Whether you are single, with no love in sight or divorced, a day that celebrates love and romance almost seems like an insult, and we somehow keep quite when people talks about it, in the office or friends gathering, no one likes to tell how 'lonely' or how 'empty' they are to other people. It's ok if you want to just laugh over the conversation and nobody actually notices hahahaha!

We don’t have to be single or divorced to feel that way either. If we are married or with someone who is not a romantic, just seeming to go through the motions, or at worst making no effort at all, that can be the loneliest feeling in the world. We get angry, disappointed, or wonder why we are with someone who is so uncaring and unemotional. Tired of the same old dinner together, the same old gifts he has been giving since many years ago or wasting lots of money for few red roses and these are sent just because your honey is afraid he’ll be in the dog house otherwise?

Hahaha, to me, Valentines' a great day to thank people that you treasure, even family members can be your Valentines' date. I am NOT worrying of not getting a date, and as I said this year, it's CNY, who cares hahahaha!

When dealing with anything in life, don’t let the day sneak up on you. Be prepared!

See if below could help you to feel better:-

If you are married to a non-romantic spouse-- accept it. Many women marry men like this and then spend the rest of their lives, trying to get a romantic response out of him. Sit down with him ahead of time and plan a romantic evening, but remember, you are celebrating your love as a couple, not just how much he is in love with you!

Men cannot read your mind. Don’t tell him you have no expectations or downplay the importance of the holiday, secretly hoping he’ll surprise you. Men who are not romantics will take you at your word and most of the time you’ll just end up disappointed. Be honest about your real feelings. If you want a nice dinner, or you want a new jewelry for your collection, TELL HIM! Don't try to hint 2 weeks before and get nothing at the end LOL!

If you are in a new relationship (and even an old one) and you want to encourage your partner, make sure you compliment, praise, and be grateful for anything you get, even if it is a card or small token. If you get upset and appear ungrateful, the response you will likely get is pure discouragement, and that might lead to fear of trying at all. Perhaps your expectations are too high or you just didn't show to him that you want him to do something special for you on Valentines' Day...

Treat yourself ahead of time. Knowing that you are going to get a massage or buy a new fragrance for yourself will make you feel loved, even if by no one but yourself! Give yourself a reason to spend and buy something that you really longed for, not necessary to be a gift from 'him' (who could be useless or didn't get your hint)


Make plans to have fun with a group of like-minded friends. Girlfriends unite! Go karaoke, dancing, spa day together!


Be a Valentine for someone who really is suffering and alone. Visit an old folks home, orphanage or special homes for special people, they deserve some attention too, and don't be surprised, your little gesture will eventually bring 20 smiles and you will smile for the entire year for doing good!



HAPPY VALENTINES' DAY EVERYONE, remember one thing, EVERYONE HAS SOMEONE... you are not alone, cheers!