KAM FEI!

This article is about how an obese or fat person feels and how it feels after kam-fei…. Not only talking about myself, also I’ve observed other fat/obese people around me… and some points are based on the drama or shows I watched on tv.. wakakakaa, so kepoh!




HOW IT FEELS FOR BEING OBESE?

You dance in club, and you attracts some ‘old uncle’

No matter what trendy, latest hair-style you cut, you look ugly


After eating, you feel sleepy (where is my bed?)


You snore until you are awake by your own snoring sound… gosh!

Your saliva will drip when you sleep, even without dreaming of Aaron Kwok!

You feel tired after shopping for 2 hours and tend to yam-cha and gain weight! Hahaha!

You enjoy eating at mamak stall and you will make sure you order roti canai, roti tisu, teh tarik, maggiemee goreng, nasi lemak, satay, French fries and chicken chop on your table


Your panties will be maternity panties! XL pun tak-ngam.. so jia-lak!

For ladies, you can never buy clothes at “Ladies Department”. You’ve to buy t-shirts & jeans at “Gent’s Department”. If you can afford, Marks & Spenser has bigger sized clothes. For normal range, try “Scarlet Plus” from Jusco.

Don’t dream to buy a belt, no size la aunty! No need to wear a belt, your pants won’t fall off, it’s too tight!

If you are a man, you’ll probably ended up at “Reject Shop” to buy some big sized ‘overseas brand baju’. Best part, men’s spender only upto “XL” size… so I really don’t know where they buy their underwear.

You’ll find a spot to hide 70% of your body when you snap pictures. You cannot smile too much, your cheeks will make you look like a ball! Or can you just be the ‘photographer’ for god-sake! Hahaha!


You look ‘bloated’ when you take close-up photographs… if you take ‘group’ pictures, you can’t even see your own eyes… they are surpressed!

When you see an old friend, they’ll say, “Hey, you look cheerful”, NOT “You look beautiful” wakakaka! Min-min-kiong-kiong entertain you …adui!

Your long-lost friends will find that you look the same like secondary school time, sigh…

You tend to have more nose shit to dig out! Wakakaka!

Your hair is super oily, like char-kuey-teow!

Your face shape is round, just so round!

You buy a steel wrist watch, and you realize that you have to use the ‘extra’ to make it bigger to fit your wrist.

Don’t wear earrings, your face will take over the earrings’ designs… waste money!

Don’t wear ring, your fingers have enough” fats” to torture them!

Limited choice of shoes, elephants don’t wear shoes remember?

No high-heels, you are lucky if your high-heels shoes can last for 3 weeks!


More break-outs on face, toxic ma, they go everywhere… and appear at the ‘wrong spot’ normally!

You tend to miss-out some gatherings becoz you are afraid to be seen.

You wear the same clothes to all wedding dinners.

You tend to eat lesser in front of your new friends, just to pretend you’re actually eating ‘not-that-much’ to prevent people ask you to kam-fei! Hahaha!

You have ‘bye-bye’ fats under your arms. Try it, you try to raise your hand and wave ‘good-bye’ to the air… can you see the ‘bye-bye’ fats swinging? Wakakakaa!

You look like being “slapped” becoz your whole face is ‘bloated’!

My mom stopped making clothes for me (hahaha!)

When I jalan pasar, got people call me ‘ah-soh’ or aunty – wakakaka! Memang ah-soh ma…

If you ever go for make-over session, your photos will be only your ‘face & neck’…

Ladies, don’t make up, you fat round body already show that you are not attractive, lay low…

Love to eat, eating-spree at pasar malam is so much of fun. Always ended up ate 15 types of different food. But don’t forget, you are making the walkway smaller, and might step on the ‘beggers’ in the middle… wakakakaa!

You cannot sit long on the floor, you’ll feel sleepy and your legs cramped!

You don’t even have to mood to wake up early to do exercise, so heavy ma!

When you sleep, you just don’t know which position is your best position. Pusing-pusing here and there lo…

You don’t eat supplements, becoz to you, supplements not working!

You only wear t-shirt and short pants or jeans when you go travel.

Your office-wear are those ‘conservative type’ and no one cares if you change your clothes.

For girls, guys friends will think twice before asking you out. Who wants to bring a ‘hippo’ out? Clingy!

Normally fat people has ‘nice voice’ on the phone. So, when you meet up with new people, they’ll vomit battery! Being fat is not a great thing though!

Let’s kam-fei!

WHY LOSE WEIGHT?

Girls - Hair-style can be anything, even if you perm it!

Face looks smaller, more oval and if you put on make-up, you’ll get compliment!

You can start to wear ‘shorter pants’

Buy your favourite shoes, even ‘stripper shoes’!

Healthier body, no snoring hehehe!

Your eyes will look bigger, and those with big nose like mine, your nose will look ‘just nice’!

So sorry to those ‘airport siew-jeh’… your ‘bra size’ will definitely be reduced once you lost some weight, wakakaka! No eye see!

Ahhhh good news ladies! You can buy sexy lingerie.

And you start to shop in “Ladies Department”, and fit in shorter skirts.

You look good in any handbag.

Your face has lesser pimples. You also can wear different style of sunglasses.

You start to apply lotion to make your skin smooth, becoz you realized that ‘being lazy’ will not help to firm up your skin after you lose some weight

When you do manicure or pedicure,
fingers/toes look super-nice becoz
they no longer look like sausages!



Last week when I went to pasar, got one aunty, she asked if I’m still a student!
Wakakaka, fake betul! But happy la… who cares…

You can walk upto 10th floor without much ‘hu-ha hu-ha’ sound hahaha!

You love to walk, sweat and exercise more, it’s part of your activities.

You tend to eat less oily food and love to eat more fruits and vegetables.

You find that supplements are great stuff to boost up your health!

You start to hate gassy drinks and sweet stuff – but I still cannot resist chocolates and cakes and ice cream!

You have more people remind you that you need to maintain your weight, a little stress, but it helps!

When you dance, you can dance from 11pm til 3am non-stop and feel geng after that!

In clubs, you attract ‘younger guys’ and ‘better looking guys’. Many will dance along with you. Uncle-uncle hodoh, go aside please………

Girls – eventually, when you lose weight and you dress better, you tend to have more guy-friends and more outings (life is like this geh lo….)

You tend to have ‘strangers’ add you in Faceboook after looking at our pix! Cool hoh! Be selective ok!

Your long-lost friends tend to be surprised to see your new image.

Those who has not met you for the past year will not be able to recognize you from your back, until you smile or speak out.

You’ll get more compliments, if you dress better!

Girls – you can buy more cosmetics now, it’s time to show the beautiful you!

You start to look back at your past photographs and says, “Omaigod! What happened to me last time? Time to smile …

You snap more photographs than ever, just too crazy!

You want to buy as much nice clothes you can ever grab!

Girls – your shoes, handbags, accessories
collections increased tremendously!




Your old friends will find that you look great now. But your new friends will still think you need to lose some weight (if you still look a little round) hahahaha!

Sayonara oily hair, you can be a hair-model with less oily hair now… wow!

When you walk into a restaurant, other patronage will be staring at you (not all la, don’t dream!).

You get better service from waiters and promoters.


Restaurants and shops’ managers recognize you! They can even remember what you want to order or your regular purchase items, hahaha! The pork-mee stall guy, I just have to smile at him, and he will know what is my regular order wakakakaa! (so give face!)

Best part, you no longer have to hide your body behind your slimmer friends!