QING MING'S PRAYERS

WHAT IS QING MING’S PRAYERS

When I was younger, I always think of ‘ghosts or spirits’ when it comes to Qing Ming Day. To me, it’s sounds a bit scary but due to curiousity, I’ll tag along to pray. Now, I’ve grown up, and I realized that each and every-one of us should remember our loved ones, even though they’ve passed away.

They waited for us for 1 year, for us to offer prayers to them during Qing Ming, that’s a long-wait.

Due to busy schedule, many didn’t turn up to pray. Due to inconveniences, many said “not free” “no time” “very hot weather” “lazy” “got commitment”. Imagine the long-wait these souls and spirit have to go through…

For Chinese tradition, even worse, super worse I would say, “Married daughters are not allowed to pray their own parents or grandparents”…. This is so sad. Imagine that if your daughters are not allowed to visit your tomb next time… stop thinking this way! Our parents are our loved ones and we must appreciate them when they are alive and continue to love them even they are dead. Curi-curi also must pray! Wakakakaa!

The purpose of the visit, I would say is for appreciation, remembrance and also to make sure that the place that “the dead ones” are staying now is clean and comfortable. As human beings, we want our homes to be ‘big, nice, comfortable, luxurious’… so our ancestors need that too! So please, spend a fe hours of your time in one year, to visit them and see how they are doing.

Last week I attended a celebration in one temple in Cheras. The “master” advised us to stay at least 45 minutes at each ancestor’s place, to show our respect. The long-wait is not easy. They will bless us in many ways, good health, smooth income, etc in long term. Just once a year, can everyone just do our part? Think about it …

GRANDPA – MR. CHONG WAH

My grandpa (mom’s dad) passed away in 10 Nov 1992 in Thailand, in a hotel, he was sitting on the chair resting, then sudden heart attack, fell down and passed away.

That day, I was at my aunty’s place in Kuantan. I was sleeping in bed when my aunty woke me up. She said, “Gung gung passed away” when I opened my eyes looking at her. I cried so loud and non-stop. That was horrible! My aunty’s neighbor, she offered to send us to the bus station, and her car was hit by another car on the way to the bus station. Bad luck! However, when we reached the bus station, we ended up taking a taxi (I can’t wait!) We rushed back to KL, and I cried all the way in the taxi (I sat in front, so the taxi driver looked at me every now and then – too bad he is not handsome, if not, I’ll hug him, wakakakaa! Still joke meh!).

Before the trip to Kuantan, grandpa gave me RM 100 for spending (I was 12 years old by then) and I spent RM 80 for the taxi back to KL. His body took a long journey to come home. Thailand part, they have to do some tests to make sure his body doesn’t contain drugs and took a few days to come back to KL for his funeral. There were pictures taken during his funeral, we kept some last time, I think we threw away the pictures later. Not sure what’s the intention to snap pictures during funeral…everyone is crying... cannot wear jewelry, cannot put on make-up, cannot mandi, cannot wash hair, cannot smile or laugh too loud...wear only black and dark blue baju... why take photos?

Best part of his funeral (Ok, I admit I was bad), the ‘na-moh-lou’ has a handsome son who helps him. Wow! at least got a handsome guy in the funeral, so it was not so bad (Gung-gung, don’t blame me ar.. I know you sent him for me to “wash eyes!” - send me more now... wakakaka!)

Thinking back then, I was a noisy and bad kid, never failed to argue with him, I used to hit him back on his words but at the end, we get well and moved on. No revenge thought though! He wore 'mah-yin-tung' those underwear got stripes one... lucky I was not hamsap, so I didnt peep! HAHAHA!

Hey, whatever arguments we've been through, I knew it, that he loved me. Life is unpredictable, he passed on, and I don’t have a chance to re-pay him. Therefore, I make myself available to offer prayers during Qing Ming, etc.

His ‘kuat-fui’ is now at the Green Pagoda, nearby Jalan Sg. Besi there (I go to visit him yearly, no pantang!)
Let’s appreciate the people around us, it’s too late if they have passed on…

GRANDMA – MDM. LOKE

My grandma (dad’s mom) passed away in 1983/84(not sure), due to diabetic problems. Doctor advised her to cut half of her leg due to infection, but she refused, she knew that her days were counted, therefore, she wanted to have both legs if she died. So, at the end, she allowed doctor to cut one of her toes (if I get this message correctly). I was too young to understand all this, I think I was just 4 or 5 years old. Still remember that time, my grandparents were staying in a terrace house, at Kuchai Lama, I still remembered grandma lied down at the sofa in the living hall when her body was brought home…

In my memory, she brought me to jalan-jalan, and we took bus when I was a small kid. I remembered that with my small little feet, I had to climb up & down the bus steps happily. Grandma always said that I did a great job. I heard she was doing marketing job, and she played mahjung. She brought me along sometimes, not many times, but I think I’ve been out with her several times when she was healthy.

She has 11 kids, 3 daughters, the rest all hunks… dad & uncles! Being a mom of 11 kids, not easy for her, she was lucky to have my great-grandma who helped her (my great-grandma passed away on 13 June 1980 – she became a widow when she was very young, so my great-grandma only had my grandma as her daughter). We pray at 3 tombs, grandma + her parents. Great-grandpa’s tomb has no picture, he passed a way too early, no camera I guess, not even my eldest uncle knew how he looked like but still, hope that he rest in peace. But all 3 tombs are well taken care off. Clean overall, just a little muddy due to wet weather. Our shoes were all dirtied but it was a great experience for me.

I always wanted to visit grandma and tell her how much I loved her. I cried a little, but so shameful becoz my dad and uncles were around. She is always in my memory, but she never appeared in my dreams (maybe she cannot recognise me by now, too leanglui jor lo wakakakaa!). My B-Sok told me that she is now re-borned, I hope it’s true! I miss you grandma, please appear in my dreams anytime.