I can barely remember what had happened in my 'previous marriage', I just look forward to happy days with my kids and family now.Friends who are closed to me, will know the real reasons of my divorced, meanwhile, those new friends, or long lost friends who never keep in touch will have 'question marks' why I choose this path of road.
I got married when I was 24, hoping for a happy marriage, with the man whom I thought I really fell in love with, and I was in 'dark' for a few years. I had miserable life, but being a positive person, I always tell myself, I have to ignore the bad things and continue to live happily.Here are some occasions, some are really shocking :)
NEVER A FATHER
- He was there during the 1st child birth, and during the 2nd child birth, he purposely disapearred for a while, and came back (when baby was out), and said he "pantang" hahaha, I laugh until today, what a crap!
- Best part, after my 2nd child was born, he told me he wasn't ready to be a father!
- The most amazing sentence from his mouth, he said that I didn't contribute to the family (and this makes me feel that I have to leave him as soon as I can, no way to be with such a jerk)
He smoked while carrying my eldest son, who was just a few day old- He said that my eldest son cried too much, so during my confinement (less than 5 days after delivery), he asked me and my eldest son to sleep at the living hall (I was staying with my aunty, and she was so upset seeing us sleeping out there) - such a cruel human being! But I still can tolerate, as I hate to argue
- The angpow we received during fullmoon and birthdays, he would take the money and I just kept the 'gifts', which he couldn't transfer them into cash... really amazing.
- I try to calculate how many cans of milk he bought for my eldest son, less than 10, I think! His money all well spent on cigarettes, food and change parts of his car
My eldest son, so small, both always argued and he said that I paid too much attention to my child. What? He must be nuts! Baby doesn't know how to make drinks or bath, if as a mom I didn't take care of baby, what else should I do? *fainted*- During the confinement of 2nd baby, he dropped by few days once. Wow, he just stayed 5mins away, and it took him few days to visit. We were already not staying together by then. When he walked into the house, baby was in the cradle sleeping. I asked him, "You can see the baby and hug him", he replied, "No need" and he sat there without looking at his own son at all. What a wonderful father!
- He always drive very fast and if he was in bad mood, the speed can be frightening (I'm thankful that I am still alive!) - drive fast and scared other drivers.
- When we buy new handphones, I always end up having the lower value one, what the hell, I paid for both!
He purposely break the huge wedding picture frame during one of the argument (really violent) I was lucky he didn't kill me!- He knew how much I was earning, he make sure that I paid for room rental, children's stuff and everything, he knew that I won't ask him for money
- Never give allowance. Once in a blue moon, he will give me RM 500, and then, within the same month, he will ask back and sometimes, asked for more.. fainted! I just so stupid!
- During argument, he always say, why I don't cook, I told him, we were staying with aunty, how to cook, not my kitchen. Freaking nuts!
- When I was pregnant, I was still carrying 10kg clothes to laundry, he won't care
- I went alone for pre-natal check-ups
No vacation, unless I plan & paid for it- Always buy new clothes to wear and I can't buy, because the budget he spent all... aiih!
- Don't allow me to put on even lipstick, he said I looked like "monkey's buttock" hahaha, I am laughing now! what a crap!
- Both phone lines were under my name, the credit limit was RM 800 I think. He never paid in full, and I ended up always pay for the phone calls to make sure that the lines were active...
WONDERFUL ATTITUDE- Every morning, I'll prepare toothbrush with toothpaste on top for him. Out of 10 times, 8 times the toothpaste still there, he never brushes his teeth.
- When he was back to the bedroom, he threw his socks all over, and when I asked him why he didn't put in the laundry basket, he said, "I want to make sure you have work to do"... oh gosh, I have to work in the morning, do all the house-chores and this is the additional work for me, how wonderful!
- He didn't like me going out with my friends (he knew 99% of my friends and colleagues)
He will make sure that he calls a few times when I was out with my friends, for dinner or birthday - and he knew who I went out with (just want to make my life miserable and make me leave and go home early)- There was a time, I went out with my girlfriends to 'Finnegans, Bangsar'. It was one of my girlfriends' birthday, so we went there for snacks and drink. He called a few times. 1st call, asked me to buy cigarettes, 2nd call asked me to buy 'extension cord'... bloody hell! He purposely wanted to make my outing sucks! After several calls, asking me to buy numerous items, he also appeared, while we were in the pub, cutting and distributing cakes. He thought I went out with guys, because I passed around cakes to all girls and guys, he thought those were my buddies, crazy man!
- Everytime when I go out with friends, he called every 30mins and asked me what time I go home... come on la...
When we went out for shopping, he will walk and left me alone, no hold hands at all.
Love to order lots of food, and waste money - we can't finish!- He loves to go out, and seldom at home
He bought porn VCDs, and I think when I spring clean, I threw away like 200 VCDs... really crazy!- When he online at my mom's place, he went to those porn websites, omaigod, my sister, mom were at home... really creepy!
GAMBLER- He was in spare-parts business - had to give credit terms to his customers. Business was good, but the terms weren't as good, as he needed more money to roll. I started to help, and he always visit those gambling spots, and told me that he wanted to earn some extra cash. He took my credit cards, and swipe as he liked. He never pay me any minimum, I had to bear for all. At first, I thought that it was for his business, but later part, I discovered that he was actually gambling and that habit can't be stopped. Lies after lies and never ended!
- He pawned all my jewelry
- One bet for World cup, RM 15,000 - and there was one time, I can remember so clearly. He called me during lunch, and forced me to call my rich friends to borrow money from them
- He forced me to call my relatives to borrow money from them
Every night, he was at Gold Valley, a gambling spot beside Mid Valley, he told me, he could earn some points that could convert into cash (whatever la)- When I first joined my current Company (in fact, we've already separated), he got a job in Citibank and he asked RM 50 from me everyday. Wow, he thought I print money. When I said I don't have (which I really don't have enough), he would say that he will make a scene in my office, how terrible.
SERIAL LIAR- He always 'blow-big' on whatever topic he says - my family members discovered that and we always laughed about it (I normally keep quiet when he speaks, so that I let him talk whatever he thinks he wanted to say, but almost all the time, he keep on praising himself... aiyer, tak tau malu.. I felt so ashamed, but I kept quiet, no point argue)
BAD-MOUTHED / BAD-HEARTED PERSON- He make bad comments on everyone of my family members & friends I know, and he always talk bad about his parents, and his siblings, where got people like this one? Really bad-hearted!
- My mom quit her job to help me to babysit my children, and he was brave enough to say that my mom was bad, looked down on him (I wanted to laugh, my mom didn't ask for a single cent from him, and never complaint on anything)
- He always argue with his father, and his father felt so sad. Both my ex-in-laws were good to me (in general) although they "pantang" to visit me during confinement hahaha I don't really mind la, old folks, I'm fine :)
- When I go shopping, I sometimes will call my colleagues or friends, ask if they want me to help them to buy some stuff. He will say, "How come you so good, your friends are using you." huh? what?
Despite so many unfortunate events happened to me before, I always treat those occasions as part of learning. Even my aunty asked me why I made a mistake in choosing husband, hahaha, I really don't know how to answer.All I know is, now, he is no longer exist and my children are growing up healthily and happily with the help of my lovely mom. Not easy to be a single mom, but I never regret. My children are my blessings.
LET'S TOAST FOR A HAPPIER LIFE! CHEERS!
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